A girl from class said hi to me today, and I usually do what I normally do which is wave and not even make eye contact, but when she smiled at me I smiled back and said hi. I felt horrible, even though I have no reason to. I didn’t ask for her number, I don’t ever talk to her, I don’t want her at all but I still felt bad for even doing that. I don’t ever want anything to come between my girlfriend and I. I love her with all of heart and I want it to always stay that way until the day that I die. I usually will go out of my way to not talk to other girls because I’m not interested and don’t want to be. My mom said women have a way of convincing men to do whatever they want, so I’m trying to avoid all other convincing that doesn’t come from my girlfriend if I can. That might seem a little excessive but I genuinely want what we have to last a lifetime and I don’t want anything ruining that.
I saw her in a few pictures of a mutual friend and I felt like I wanted to break down. It’s inly been a couple of days, but I honestly feel like it’s been forever. She is a part of me now…and I love that she is. She is my bestfriend. Hopefully she’ll be my wife and the mother of my kids one day. I really hope she is. I pray that she is, almost every night before I go to sleep as a matter of fact. I usually just pray that we stay together forever. That we always love each other and that our feelings remain genuine and never change. That we stick together through good times and bad. She means everything to me and I always want her to mean everything to me. I believe she will. While I do not know what the Lord’s plan for me is, I hope and pray she will always be with me and a part of that plan.