It’s Not About Being Perfect.

I am not perfect. I am not perfect but I love you. I get scared. I have fears. Sometimes I even have doubts. Never about you, only about me. I know what my feelings are. I know I love you. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know want to be with you always. I want to be married to you. I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. I have flaws. I look forward to the future and forget to enjoy the present. I overthink things to the point I drive myself crazy. I’m impatient and try to look for ways to get around things so we can be together all the time, instead of being patient and going through the hard times so we can enjoy the beautiful times we always have when we’re together. The most irritating flaw of them all, the one I hate and don’t understand the most, is that I never want to leave your side or break up with you or be without you, but I have urges to when I get scared. I love you so much. My feelings are genuine and I know they are. I want this. I want us. I know I do. Why I get scared…maybe it’s because I want this so bad and I’m terrified of losing you. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid the distance will change us and I never want us to change. Maybe it’s because you are my first love, my bestfriend and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe it’s because I’ve realized that if I lost you I’d lose the greatest thing that ever happened to me. They say you never know what you have until it’s gone, so maybe I wanted to leave to confirm everything so I can come back and stay forever. I am flawed. I am not perfect. But I’m trying to be. I’m trying to fix whatever I have to fix, because I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life. I love you. There’s no doubts about that. I don’t want us to end. I want to stay for the rest of my life. I just want to make it all happen.

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