I never believed that this was possible. I still don’t but I think a lot and this stuck with me.
Someone close to me and I had a conversation and I told her how happy I was to be with my girlfriend. I told how serious I was and that I want to marry her one day. She said she was glad. The more we talked I felt like the tone changed and she said something’s that stuck with me. She told me that a relationship needs change because it will get boring if nothing changes. This is something I’m not entirely sure about. Change is good sometimes, but too much can be detrimental and I want what we have to last forever. We’ve already went from seeing each other everyday for a month to not seeing each other at all for four. That’s a huge change. I understand what she meant though. I just don’t want how we feel about each other to change. That’s all.
She told me I need to grow out of the, “If I do something wrong she’ll leave me” phase. I’m not really sure about this one. I think I get it. Little mistakes and fights aren’t problems, they happen. It’s just college, being around other girls all the time and drinking and things like that I try to avoid. I don’t want to make any mistakes like that while we’re away. I know what to do and what not to do by now so I’m not really worried about that.
She said don’t let love stop you from living and that’s true. I was guilty of that last semester. I can’t do that again. That doesn’t mean I’ll go out all the time and do whatever I want cause she’s not around though. I can go out and have fun and still be faithful. I should probably make a conscious effort to do that more. Most of the time I just want to FaceTime her and tell her I love her. I don’t ever want to hurt her or have her think she’s not important to me or I’m not waiting on her. I love her and I never want her to question that.
The last thing she said that really made me think was, “Don’t change because you want to be something someone else wants you to be, change for you.” She thinks I’m, “Too in love to understand.” because I really don’t and didn’t mind changing for her. I’m willing to change of it means we’ll always be together. I have no problem doing that whatsoever. I want to be a good man, a great man and a man that she deserves. If that means that I have to change a few things about myself than I will. Any changes I’ve made have only made me a better person. I love her. She’s my wife in my heart and my mind. Why wouldn’t you change for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?
She didn’t change how I feel about us. I still want to spend the rest of my life with her. That will never change. I’m still going to always love her and only her unconditionally. That will never change. She may have reeled me in a little bit though. She didn’t make me doubt, but what if something does not go as I plan? What if she doesn’t love me forever like I hope? What if she does get bored of me? What if she leaves because I’m “too” in love with her? What will I have then? I have to make it so she’s entertained with who I am still. I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to be seen as boring or as the guy that doesn’t want anything for himself. Just because I will always love her doesn’t mean she will always be with me. So maybe I should change a few things for me. Just so that never happens. I don’t know.