Looking inward is the scariest thing I have ever done. I know how I feel and I know what I want, but I don’t know what kind of person I am. I just know the kind of person I want to be. I love her so much. It’s changing. In a good way. It’s not new anymore, but it’s stronger. I don’t feel as anxious. I feel better about us being permanent. The feelings of what I would almost describe as dread when I thought about what the future holds, have turned into excitement and anticipation. I’m learning to become more patient, which is a great thing. I’m learning to love her for her. She’s free, she’s independent, she is great. I am not. Not yet. I am trying to be. My fear is that I will falter, because I have some many times before. Relationships have mistakes, but ours hasn’t had very many if any at all. I am flawed, as we all are, but I refuse to let my fear of doing something wrong and making a mistake keep,our love from growing. It will take a lot of work, but I will get to where she needs me to be.