I am mentally weak. In more ways than one. I have always been quick to give up on things that are difficult and I have always been easily influenced by others. Especially the people I love the most. I want to change that. As a man, I want to stand for the right things. I want to be someone that my family, wife, kids and friends are proud of. That’s all I want. It’s something I’ve never been and it’s vital in order to stay with Nicole and stay here at school. I have to roll with the punches and keep sticking with everything.
Distance is really hard. It’s hard because she’s the only one I want and I can’t have her right now. I miss her. Genuinely miss her and want her next to me. Everyday it’s so hard. I want to scream sometimes. I just want to be with her but I have to be patient for now. Take everything one day at a time. I love her. I could never be with anyone else. I try to treat her better than anyone could while we’re away. I honestly believe that she is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. I just have to wait and let her live her life. 2 more months and I can be see her again, then we can start to build what I believe we will always have.