I haven’t posted that much lately. I’m not sure who even reads my blog to be honest, but if you do I’m sorry for not posting. A lots been going on and I want to post while I can.
I’m considering joining the military. Initially, I wanted to do it because I might lose my scholarship for college, but now I want to do it for me. If I keep my scholarship I won’t go off, but I’ll find a way to enlist and go to school while I’m in Athens. If I lose it, I’ll leave in August after my Summer classes are finished. I haven’t told anyone except Nicole that I’m going to do this. My mom is already disappointed in me, and rightfully so. I won’t put her through anything anymore. If I lose my scholarship I’ll pay for college as best I can and that’s by joining the military. I have a meeting with Staff Sergeant Nelson in Lakewood at noon today. I’m ready for it.
Everyone keeps telling me it’s not the end of the world. Everything will be ok. I feel like it won’t though. I ruined everything I had going for me and I don’t just want to fix it I want to make sure it never happens again. My response to the situation I put myself in is the most important thing. I’m not going to beat myself up. I’m going to do better. That’s all I’m going to do.
My great grandmother passing was hard. It was hard on all of us. For my NaNa especially (I call my grandmother NaNa in case you guys didn’t know). I hated to see the people I love cry like that. I hated to see them in pain like that. It was hard, and watching it made me wish I could do something even though I knew there was nothing that could be done. My great grandmother was our hero. She kept the family together at all times. Now I feel like there’s no reason to go to her house anymore because she’s not there. I miss her a lot. We all do.
One thing I never knew about her is that she always wore hats to church and they call those hats she had “crowns”. I thought they were amazing when I saw them and I knew my grandma looked beautiful in them. So my family and I decided to try a few on in her honor the night before we left. We’re all a little silly haha.
I’ll give as many updates as I can this Summer about school and the military and things like that. Until next time. ✌️