I could never give up. I could never let my loneliness drive me to give up on us. That’s not what love is. One of the most fascinating and insane things I have realized is that, no matter what negative emotions I may feel when we’re apart, I would never let that keep me from being with her or trying to make this work.
It is difficult. It’s only been a couple of days and it’s been difficult to not see her or feel her on my skin or talk to her about everything. To just hear her voice or be around her would make me happier than I’ve ever been. What’s crazy is that it really would. I’m always the happiest when she’s around.
Sometimes, I wonder if it is good to feel this way about someone. To have feelings that run this deeply. It’s a blessing. The blessing is everything that I know is going to go right. All the things I know we’re going to have in time. Through fights, or breaks or break ups, anything. I hope she knows she will always have all of me for the rest of my life.
She makes me feel so fulfilled. She makes me so happy. I love her. I am in love with her. I want her to stay with me no matter what, because even though I have my flaws I know that I am committed to her.
The scariest thing about us to me is that I truly am terrified of losing her. I don’t have to be or need to be, but I am because she means that much to me and she always will.
I.I hope she helps me love her better, because she is my better half. I just wonder if she will really always be here with me. If I’m the one for her, like I know she’s the one for me.
I told myself that I was horrible for sometimes being attracted to other girls when we first started dating. It didn’t happen often, barely at all, but it has happened before. I don’t look now because I don’t want any other girl, I want my girl and that’s Nicole. There’s no other person on Earth that could make me feel this way, and that’s how I know she’s the one.
One day, I hope you read these. I hope you see how much I think about you. How much I really love you, and how lucky I am to be blessed with your love. I hope one day, you decide to stay with me forever.
Until that day comes, I will love you as best I can every day. Until my days are no more.