It’s very dark in my mind right now. A lot of what I go through emotionally is self inflicted. That’s hard to admit, but it’s very true. I hold myself back a lot. I don’t want to make a mistake or embarrass myself or anything like that. I wish I didn’t have to think about everything so much, I can’t help it though. I can be possessive, I was a lot as a child, because I’m afraid of not having anyone. I’m afraid I might have really bad flaws. I don’t like going out too much because I honestly feel like I don’t belong sometimes. I just never feel right, like I’m always being judged. I hate it. I hate that I do this to myself, and I hate that I don’t know how to fix it. Hopefully God will help me find the answer.