I haven’t posted in months, and I apologize. I stepped away from my blog for a bit because I wanted to focus on other things that were going on. When I write, it’s very time consuming and I like to write a lot and be as honest as possible. I’m not going to write anything if my heart isn’t in it. I’d be doing myself a disservice and a disservice to anyone who takes the time out of there day to read my blog, if anyone does at all. I’m back now though, because I have a need to get some feelings out and just write in general. I miss it. It’s my escape.
I looked back at some posts about my relationship with Nicole, and I realized how terrified I really was. I also realized how badly I handled certain things. I can honestly say that I’ve grown from that place.
I don’t worry about us as much anymore. Every once in awhile I do, but that’s natural with someone you love and care deeply for. I don’t freak out though, I just let things happen how they’re supposed to happen.
I’m very deeply in love with Nicole. I want us to be together forever, that hasn’t changed at all, but the thought of it not happening isn’t killing me mentally anymore. The distance still sucks a lot, but it’s not draining the life out of me anymore. I have to just trust her and hope we can do what we’ve planned on doing from the beginning.
I don’t have time to worry and I’m not going to doubt her. I’m just going to be the best I can be for her, show her I’m in love with her, and I hope to God that’s enough for us to always be together.